by: Connie Limon
A definition of time management might be a process of gaining flexibility and cutting back time. The advantage to having a time management plan is that we are loosing something that brings us reward and gaining something that brings us bigger rewards. We end up with a “no loosing” situation if our time management plan is right.
To develop a successful time management plan we must first evaluate our time. We must sit down and ask ourselves how long does it take us to eat? How long does it take us to get dressed and groom for work? How long does it take us to prepare the meals we have to eat? Everything we do takes a certain amount of time. You might start out by writing down just how much time it takes to do each of your very have to tasks each day.
Then sit back and evaluate your list. Are you wasting 10 minutes here and there on those have to items that could be used for something else?
Where our time goes is an essential element to determine for our entire time management plan if we want to begin spending more quality with the most important people of our lives and less wasted time on some routine task. This is the absolute first step of creating your own personalized time management plan, a time management plan that will allow your more time to do the things in life that are most important to you. You must determine where you are wasting time and then decide how to use that time more effectively. Once that time is lost, there is no calling it back.
Another important element of creating a successful time management plan is to be sure and finish tasks before moving onto another task, unless you are at work, in a job that requires doing multiple tasks at one time (multi-tasking). Once you finish one task, move onto the next task and follow in pursuit of finishing all tasks. Once you finish the last task, sit back for a moment in a comfortable position and think of what you accomplished. How much time did it take you to complete task? Don’t forget to be keeping down your start time and end time. Of course this type of listing time of tasks works best for those things you do as routine each day. You want to work on completing the tasks in as little time as possible so you that you have to add in the unexpected tasks of the day or…….much better…….so that you have time to do something you really, really want to do, something that is not routinely required of you to do. For example, like visit on the phone with a favorite friend, your daughter or mother, or whoever, read some in the books you want to complete at some point or another in your lifetime.
A successful time management plan provides us with a source for more flexible schedules. When we have flexibility we have more time for ourselves. Once you have determined your priorities for time usage, then you can start adding tasks that you been putting off because you just don’t have the time to do them.
So….you now need another list of goals and plans of tasks and things you want to do but never have the time to do. One of the best ways of keeping these lists is on your computer where you can quickly erase and add to. But then again, paper in a notebook is also good, perhaps a special book.
Time management is the process of working to succeed. When we work to succeed we reach our goals. We first have to decide what those goals are, of course, and then work toward them using our time management plan. You will probably have to sit down and really ponder on what is needed to reach each goal of set of goals, and of course, decide how much time each step of the way you will need. Some people like to set short term goals, reach that goal and then set a long term goal. It might be a better plan to try and set short and long-term goals in the same time management plan. Whichever way works best for you, however, is what you should do.
Time management is essential since it demands that a person plan, act on those plans and stay focused on those goals with motivation. You must also keep reality in mind, and plan for the things out of your control that could go wrong and therefore steal time from your time management plan. Some examples would be computer failures, family illness, personal illness, inches and inches of snow and ice, horrible sudden tornados and hurricanes. It is always wise to include elements of your time management plan in accordance to what could happen out of your control. You may want to have a plan ahead of time of using your time in some other manner if your computer fails. Catch up on your paper filing or something. Right now for me, I am experiencing an internet outage. I have groomed many more Shih Tzu than the usual today in the time I usually spend answering e-mails and working on my websites.
Time management is working to succeed. If you want to succeed then you must work hard every day to meet your goals. I recently cut down my preparing and eating breakfast time by about ten minutes. Instead of my usual meal, I now mix up a Zone Shake and drink it while doing some other chore like adding to or emptying out the dishwasher, or even while opening up my daily e-mails. In reality here I am using ten extra minutes to work on my goals, rather than preparing and eating a regular breakfast.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
12 Steps To Turbo-charge Your Visualisation
1. Every night, half an hour before retiring, go to your room, where you can be entirely alone and as remote as possible from noise and distraction.
2. Seat yourself in a wide and comfortable chair, or, better still, lie down on your back at full length. See that your clothing is loosened, so that you will suffer no distressing annoyance on this account. Compose yourself as if for sleep, assuming a position of restfulness, abandon and utter relaxation. Close your eyes, letting the lids rest lightly on your cheeks.
3. Shut your mind resolutely against every form of bodily sensation. Forget for the time that you are encumbered with a body.
4. Bar out of your consciousness every memory, every thought of the past.
5. Build a mental picture of the thing you want to have, to do or to be - the one thing that you immediately desire first and most of all. By this we mean nothing indefinite. We do not refer to ultimate aims that can come only as the result of long periods of effort. We mean something specific, something that can be yours tomorrow, something that in itself constitutes the next step in your chosen career.
6. See yourself finding the ways and means of realizing your desire, overcoming obstacles one after another, all the obstacles that can possibly arise. See yourself called upon to display, and displaying, alertness, promptness, courage, confidence, resourcefulness, patience, push, enterprise, expert knowledge, insight, shrewdness, tact, self-control, decision. See yourself face to face with the situation that confronts you in real life and manifesting the qualities and doing the things necessary to your purpose. Put yourself body and soul into this picture. Multiply details. Rivet your mind upon it.
7. Advance step by step, logically, wisely, consistently, to the climax of the drama. See yourself winning out. See yourself solving the problem, getting the thing you want, acting the part you desire to play. Detach your spirit from the flesh of this world and incorporate it in the mental image of yourself. Live the victory mentally until a sense of its reality permeates your soul.
8. Make your dream picture as delightful as possible. Dwell upon it with joyful satisfaction. Warm your heart with a feeling of thankfulness that that which you have so long desired is really yours. This feeling of gratitude, this emotional element, will bring forth associations that will give life to the picture and will animate your faith. Keep yourself tight shut in this dream world for at least fifteen minutes.
9. Arise and make your preparations for the night. Then upon retiring once more close your eyes and let your mind dwell upon your vision for five or ten minutes or until you fall asleep. Let it be the last thing in your thoughts as you become unconscious.
10. Every time you are awake during the night call the mental picture before you and keep it in consciousness as long as you remain awake.
11. In the morning, immediately upon awaking, repeat the procedure set out in the third, fourth and fifth instructions.
12. The more of your spare time you spend in this way, the more promptly will you actualize your ideals. By repeated concentration, every detail of the image of your desire will be so deeply engraved upon your mind as to exert an influence throughout the day. It will inhibit wasteful emotions and impulses. It will give you poise and self-possession. It will so inspire you with its promise as to awaken an energizing response in the profoundest depths of your subconsciousness.
By Colin Joss © 2006
2. Seat yourself in a wide and comfortable chair, or, better still, lie down on your back at full length. See that your clothing is loosened, so that you will suffer no distressing annoyance on this account. Compose yourself as if for sleep, assuming a position of restfulness, abandon and utter relaxation. Close your eyes, letting the lids rest lightly on your cheeks.
3. Shut your mind resolutely against every form of bodily sensation. Forget for the time that you are encumbered with a body.
4. Bar out of your consciousness every memory, every thought of the past.
5. Build a mental picture of the thing you want to have, to do or to be - the one thing that you immediately desire first and most of all. By this we mean nothing indefinite. We do not refer to ultimate aims that can come only as the result of long periods of effort. We mean something specific, something that can be yours tomorrow, something that in itself constitutes the next step in your chosen career.
6. See yourself finding the ways and means of realizing your desire, overcoming obstacles one after another, all the obstacles that can possibly arise. See yourself called upon to display, and displaying, alertness, promptness, courage, confidence, resourcefulness, patience, push, enterprise, expert knowledge, insight, shrewdness, tact, self-control, decision. See yourself face to face with the situation that confronts you in real life and manifesting the qualities and doing the things necessary to your purpose. Put yourself body and soul into this picture. Multiply details. Rivet your mind upon it.
7. Advance step by step, logically, wisely, consistently, to the climax of the drama. See yourself winning out. See yourself solving the problem, getting the thing you want, acting the part you desire to play. Detach your spirit from the flesh of this world and incorporate it in the mental image of yourself. Live the victory mentally until a sense of its reality permeates your soul.
8. Make your dream picture as delightful as possible. Dwell upon it with joyful satisfaction. Warm your heart with a feeling of thankfulness that that which you have so long desired is really yours. This feeling of gratitude, this emotional element, will bring forth associations that will give life to the picture and will animate your faith. Keep yourself tight shut in this dream world for at least fifteen minutes.
9. Arise and make your preparations for the night. Then upon retiring once more close your eyes and let your mind dwell upon your vision for five or ten minutes or until you fall asleep. Let it be the last thing in your thoughts as you become unconscious.
10. Every time you are awake during the night call the mental picture before you and keep it in consciousness as long as you remain awake.
11. In the morning, immediately upon awaking, repeat the procedure set out in the third, fourth and fifth instructions.
12. The more of your spare time you spend in this way, the more promptly will you actualize your ideals. By repeated concentration, every detail of the image of your desire will be so deeply engraved upon your mind as to exert an influence throughout the day. It will inhibit wasteful emotions and impulses. It will give you poise and self-possession. It will so inspire you with its promise as to awaken an energizing response in the profoundest depths of your subconsciousness.
By Colin Joss © 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
What Changes Are You Avoiding In Life?
Change is a constant in our lives and yet so often we resist it. As human beings we are wired to avoid change because any type of change, even change for the better, involves a level of discomfort in some shape or form. The whole concept of comfort zones evolved to explain the hedonistic psychological drive in all of us to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Comfort zones - characterized by the familiar, the known, the predictable - are where we risk little except, of course, our spirits deepest fulfillment. Change, by its very nature, requires us to step beyond our comfort zone and let go of something we've become familiar with - whether it be a the structure of our company, a relationship, a routine, a neighbourhood or a physical environment in which we've lived or worked - and adapt to something new, something unfamiliar.
As someone who has moved around a lot over the last decade and had four children along the way, I know all too well that change can not only be uncomfortable but it can be inconvenient and, at times, quite overwhelming (as every new mother will tell you). However I also know that unless you are willing to embrace change in your life you will miss the opportunities your ever changing environment presents to you and will be unable to create for yourself a life you really enjoy living.
Perhaps you are someone who feels very averse to change. A 'creature of habit' you call yourself. That is all fine and good. But if your aversion to change has left you unwilling to address the areas of your life you don't feel good about and fulfill your own unique potential then it is coming at a cost to you. In my experience when people choose to avoid change - even positive change - it is because they doubt their ability to take on the challenges that change will bring. Fear keeps them stuck and resigned to the status quo.
Is there something you don't feel completely great about in any of these aspects of your life?
* Your relationships
* Your home and work environment
* Your career (or lack thereof)
* Your health and general sense of well being
* Your finances
* Your sense of community
* Your recreation/leisure time
* Your life in general!
What would need to change to bring into your life more of what you wanted and less of what you didn't in whichever areas you feel dissatisfied with? People who achieve true success in their professional and personal lives are those who view change not as something that is 'bad' and to be avoided but as something that is necessary if they are to move forward toward the goals that inspire them. They don't resist. They embrace.
Likewise the only way you can ever have the life you'd really love to live is by proactively going out and making whatever changes need to be made. But what's that you say? You feel scared, daunted even? Well of course you do… you're human! No-one is born immune to fear and self doubt. We all experience it. Likewise, no one is born with an absence of courage. Courage lies within each of us and is not an absence of fear but action in spite of it. So whatever changes you have been putting off know you are capable of taking on much more than you have been giving yourself credit for. Stop underestimating yourself!
Sure your life right now might be relatively easy and 'comfortable' but that doesn't mean it is truly rich in the stuff that makes it truly rewarding and meaningful. Upgrading your experience of being alive in the world requires willingness to continual personal growth. Growth does not occur in comfort zones. In fact the only way you can grow into your full potential is by stretching yourself a little now and then, and as you do, leaving behind the old in order to experience the new. When you approach change with the right attitude you will become much more confident in your ability to handle life's challenges and to take on bigger, more exciting challenges that really inspire you.
Today I encourage you to take one small action toward addressing something you feel dissatisfied with. It may require a change to your daily routine, who you hang out with, your commitments, your eating habits, your spending habits or to your willingness to have a conversation that you've long been putting off… whatever! The most important thing is to step into action and as you do remember that you really are much much more capable and courageous than you think you are!
2005 © Margie Warrell. All rights reserved.
About the author:
Margie Warrell is an Executive & Life Coach, Speaker and Writer who specializes in empowering women to find the courage to pursue the goals that inspire them - personally and professionally - with more success, fulfillment and balance… less the stress! To subscribe to her free monthly ezine or for more information visit http://www.margiewarrell.com
As someone who has moved around a lot over the last decade and had four children along the way, I know all too well that change can not only be uncomfortable but it can be inconvenient and, at times, quite overwhelming (as every new mother will tell you). However I also know that unless you are willing to embrace change in your life you will miss the opportunities your ever changing environment presents to you and will be unable to create for yourself a life you really enjoy living.
Perhaps you are someone who feels very averse to change. A 'creature of habit' you call yourself. That is all fine and good. But if your aversion to change has left you unwilling to address the areas of your life you don't feel good about and fulfill your own unique potential then it is coming at a cost to you. In my experience when people choose to avoid change - even positive change - it is because they doubt their ability to take on the challenges that change will bring. Fear keeps them stuck and resigned to the status quo.
Is there something you don't feel completely great about in any of these aspects of your life?
* Your relationships
* Your home and work environment
* Your career (or lack thereof)
* Your health and general sense of well being
* Your finances
* Your sense of community
* Your recreation/leisure time
* Your life in general!
What would need to change to bring into your life more of what you wanted and less of what you didn't in whichever areas you feel dissatisfied with? People who achieve true success in their professional and personal lives are those who view change not as something that is 'bad' and to be avoided but as something that is necessary if they are to move forward toward the goals that inspire them. They don't resist. They embrace.
Likewise the only way you can ever have the life you'd really love to live is by proactively going out and making whatever changes need to be made. But what's that you say? You feel scared, daunted even? Well of course you do… you're human! No-one is born immune to fear and self doubt. We all experience it. Likewise, no one is born with an absence of courage. Courage lies within each of us and is not an absence of fear but action in spite of it. So whatever changes you have been putting off know you are capable of taking on much more than you have been giving yourself credit for. Stop underestimating yourself!
Sure your life right now might be relatively easy and 'comfortable' but that doesn't mean it is truly rich in the stuff that makes it truly rewarding and meaningful. Upgrading your experience of being alive in the world requires willingness to continual personal growth. Growth does not occur in comfort zones. In fact the only way you can grow into your full potential is by stretching yourself a little now and then, and as you do, leaving behind the old in order to experience the new. When you approach change with the right attitude you will become much more confident in your ability to handle life's challenges and to take on bigger, more exciting challenges that really inspire you.
Today I encourage you to take one small action toward addressing something you feel dissatisfied with. It may require a change to your daily routine, who you hang out with, your commitments, your eating habits, your spending habits or to your willingness to have a conversation that you've long been putting off… whatever! The most important thing is to step into action and as you do remember that you really are much much more capable and courageous than you think you are!
2005 © Margie Warrell. All rights reserved.
About the author:
Margie Warrell is an Executive & Life Coach, Speaker and Writer who specializes in empowering women to find the courage to pursue the goals that inspire them - personally and professionally - with more success, fulfillment and balance… less the stress! To subscribe to her free monthly ezine or for more information visit http://www.margiewarrell.com
Friday, December 15, 2006
The Power of Intention
Overwhelmed! That's a word I've heard a lot lately. A client recently exclaimed, “Who has the time to focus on one thing at a time these days? That's a luxury I just cannot afford!” In an effort to be more efficient, most of us have learned how to multitask.
Computers are known for their ability to multitask. For example, you can compose a letter while scanning for viruses or downloading a software update. But have you noticed that even computers are often not as efficient when multitasking? The functions slow way down when too many resources are being called upon at one time. Our brains are even more susceptible to loss of productivity when we try to do two or more things at once – especially if they are complex or require a high degree of concentration. Studies show a drop in efficiency of 30-50% on individual tasks performed while multitasking. Brain studies show that we actually cannot multi-task. We simply change focus very rapidly from one task to another.
Perhaps one of the worst forms of multitasking is when we're trying to spend “quality” time with a loved one, while also trying to be “productive.” I'll never forget an experience I had years ago when I went to my daughter's soccer game on a day that I was feeling overwhelmed and behind. I had grabbed the mail on the way out the door. In my attempt to be efficient with my time, I was sorting through the mail while watching the game. Unfortunately, I was looking down when my daughter made her only goal of the game. I felt terrible when someone said, “Did you see that? Your daughter just made a goal!” Although she never knew, it was one of those moments I could never get back. I could have read the mail anytime.
Reduce the overwhelm -- narrow your focus to three intentions at a time!
Are you living your life on purpose? Is your self-talk full of "I have-to," "I gotta," or "I should"? How often do you say "I choose to..."?
Maybe it's time to quit shoulding on yourself and be at choice! You're eventually headed for a crash landing if you do not honor your values and your life purpose by consciously choosing what you want and being intentional with your behavior and responses. Your “auto pilot” may not be set to get you where you want to go. Begin by jotting down some intentions. When you set your intentions, choose ones that you're willing to put your time and energy behind and that are most important to YOU. Keep them short and simple. When you look back over the list, does it represent what matters most to you at this time in your life?
Here are some examples: · I intend to lose 10 pounds. · I intend feel more rested and energetic when I wake up each morning. · I intend to take one full 24-hour day away from work each week (including e-mail). · I intend to leave my office by 5:00 PM each day. · I intend to give 10% of my earnings to charity. · I intend to save 10% of my earnings for retirement. · I intend to deepen my relationship with my spouse. · I intend to feel more connected to my kids.
Because your brain can only focus on so much at one time, I suggest that you identify no more than three goals or habits to work on over the next three months. Jot down your three most important goals or areas of focus, and then underneath each goal write a description of the results you intend to achieve. Remember... trying to concentrate on more than three primary goals at a time can put your mind into overload.
Once you’ve stated your intentions, it’s time to get REALLY specific by identifying measurable goals to help you follow through with them.
Here’s how this works. One of the above intentions was to leave the office by 5 PM. In order to do that, I might determine that I need to be more productive at work. Here is how I get really specific about my measurable goals that will support me in following through with the intention to leave the office by 5 PM…
BE MORE PRODUCTIVE AT WORK
· Have a system in place to follow up on calls and letters in a timely way.
· Be on time or early for appointments. · Take journals & mail with me so I can catch up on my reading if I am early for an appointment. · Break larger tasks into smaller ones with deadlines assigned to each smaller task.
· Set realistic goals and deadlines for new projects and stay on task.
· Remind myself that when I say "yes" to one thing I am saying "no" to other things.
· Only say yes to what is important.
· Do weekly planning every Friday for the coming week.
In order to create new behaviors which will get and keep you at the enhanced level at which you wish to function, you may need support and an accountability partner. Identify whatever support you need in order to reach your goals, and then ask it.
About the author:
Wouldn't you love to stumble upon a secret library of ideas to help you de-clutter your life so you can focus on what's most important? Kathy Paauw offers simple, yet powerful ideas, on how to manage your time, space, and thoughts for a more productive and fulfilling life. Visit http://www.orgcoach.net.
Computers are known for their ability to multitask. For example, you can compose a letter while scanning for viruses or downloading a software update. But have you noticed that even computers are often not as efficient when multitasking? The functions slow way down when too many resources are being called upon at one time. Our brains are even more susceptible to loss of productivity when we try to do two or more things at once – especially if they are complex or require a high degree of concentration. Studies show a drop in efficiency of 30-50% on individual tasks performed while multitasking. Brain studies show that we actually cannot multi-task. We simply change focus very rapidly from one task to another.
Perhaps one of the worst forms of multitasking is when we're trying to spend “quality” time with a loved one, while also trying to be “productive.” I'll never forget an experience I had years ago when I went to my daughter's soccer game on a day that I was feeling overwhelmed and behind. I had grabbed the mail on the way out the door. In my attempt to be efficient with my time, I was sorting through the mail while watching the game. Unfortunately, I was looking down when my daughter made her only goal of the game. I felt terrible when someone said, “Did you see that? Your daughter just made a goal!” Although she never knew, it was one of those moments I could never get back. I could have read the mail anytime.
Reduce the overwhelm -- narrow your focus to three intentions at a time!
Are you living your life on purpose? Is your self-talk full of "I have-to," "I gotta," or "I should"? How often do you say "I choose to..."?
Maybe it's time to quit shoulding on yourself and be at choice! You're eventually headed for a crash landing if you do not honor your values and your life purpose by consciously choosing what you want and being intentional with your behavior and responses. Your “auto pilot” may not be set to get you where you want to go. Begin by jotting down some intentions. When you set your intentions, choose ones that you're willing to put your time and energy behind and that are most important to YOU. Keep them short and simple. When you look back over the list, does it represent what matters most to you at this time in your life?
Here are some examples: · I intend to lose 10 pounds. · I intend feel more rested and energetic when I wake up each morning. · I intend to take one full 24-hour day away from work each week (including e-mail). · I intend to leave my office by 5:00 PM each day. · I intend to give 10% of my earnings to charity. · I intend to save 10% of my earnings for retirement. · I intend to deepen my relationship with my spouse. · I intend to feel more connected to my kids.
Because your brain can only focus on so much at one time, I suggest that you identify no more than three goals or habits to work on over the next three months. Jot down your three most important goals or areas of focus, and then underneath each goal write a description of the results you intend to achieve. Remember... trying to concentrate on more than three primary goals at a time can put your mind into overload.
Once you’ve stated your intentions, it’s time to get REALLY specific by identifying measurable goals to help you follow through with them.
Here’s how this works. One of the above intentions was to leave the office by 5 PM. In order to do that, I might determine that I need to be more productive at work. Here is how I get really specific about my measurable goals that will support me in following through with the intention to leave the office by 5 PM…
BE MORE PRODUCTIVE AT WORK
· Have a system in place to follow up on calls and letters in a timely way.
· Be on time or early for appointments. · Take journals & mail with me so I can catch up on my reading if I am early for an appointment. · Break larger tasks into smaller ones with deadlines assigned to each smaller task.
· Set realistic goals and deadlines for new projects and stay on task.
· Remind myself that when I say "yes" to one thing I am saying "no" to other things.
· Only say yes to what is important.
· Do weekly planning every Friday for the coming week.
In order to create new behaviors which will get and keep you at the enhanced level at which you wish to function, you may need support and an accountability partner. Identify whatever support you need in order to reach your goals, and then ask it.
About the author:
Wouldn't you love to stumble upon a secret library of ideas to help you de-clutter your life so you can focus on what's most important? Kathy Paauw offers simple, yet powerful ideas, on how to manage your time, space, and thoughts for a more productive and fulfilling life. Visit http://www.orgcoach.net.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Super Self Confidence - How To Lose It And How You Can Get It Back
by: Steven Harold
It is well worth discussing what self-confidence is, before describing how you can change your low self confidence into healthier and empowering confidence.
As human beings, we action many tasks automatically and without having to think too much about it. An example would be riding a bike. Even though we might have gone through a few years of not using a bike, if we needed to, we would not find any difficulty in getting back on a bicycle and riding again. This is because we have done it so many times before that we know just what to do and do not have to give it too much conscious thought. So if you were to ask someone, how confident are you that you can ride a bike, as long as they had learnt to ride a bike in the past, they would probably say 'very confident'. They feel confident about it because they have done it many many times successfully before. In fact they now give very little thought to actions required to ride a bike. It all happens automatically.
This can be called a type of self confidence. Knowing something so well, that as the saying goes, you could do it with your eyes closed or you know it like the back of your hand.
Now when someone says that they have low confidence, they can so easily make the mistake of encompassing their whole life with this label. They might even say 'I never have any confidence in myself'. By saying this out loud to others who will listen, or even thinking it to themselves, they will be setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy. The label you give yourself or the label you accept as being true will invariably mean that you start to fit yourself to that label, and, can make it your own living reality.
However, that person above will be able to successfully accomplish many things confidently but, and here is the big 'but' they will not use these successes as evidence of confidence. They will dismiss or belittle them in some way (e.g. saying "I was lucky") so that they can maintain this need to say they have no confidence. This is a pity as it is only through taking a realistic view of what happens in their world, will they then be able to feel more confident about themselves.
It can be quite startling how someone will say they have no confidence and yet 5 minutes later they will tell you about some amazing things that they do such as talking in front of 10,000 people, or they go mountain climbing. Despite undertaking these events, which ordinarily seem nerve-wracking events, they may still say that they have low confidence.
So confidence or the lack of it, has a lot to do with how you view yourself. If this is the case then really it is down to a perception. Perceptions are not a true reflection of reality all of the time. Often perceptions, even between just 2 people, can be remarkably different even though these 2 people have in reality, experienced exactly the same thing.
Perceptions are the filters we use to process what happens around us. Our perceptions can make us feel good, bad or indifferent. They can give us a boost of energy or deflate us into an anxious and fearful mass. Our perceptions have power.
Our perceptions are, more often than not, based on our past conscious and subconscious experiences. They are our way of analysing what happens around and enabling us to decide the implications for us. When experiencing anything, our minds will very quickly compare the current experience to past experiences and, these past experiences will indicate how we should react to this current experience. If we have had a bad experience that seems very similar to the current experience, we will feel in a similar way to the feeling we associated with that past bad experience.
So our perceptions are based on past experiences and what we have learned from them.
This gives us a clue about how we can change and become more confident. Our perceptions can be so inaccurate and if they were formed at a young age may also have lacked understanding. Most of us have had the experience of perceiving someone or some situation in a particular way, only to realise that we got it completely wrong. With this in mind, although our perceptions are a form or protection and are meant to enable us to weigh up a situation quickly, they can also be wholly inaccurate.
Healthy and robust self-confidence begins by accepting that your perception of yourself may be wrong in certain matters. For example, some friends will be astounded when someone announces (may be on a drunken evening), that they have low confidence. These friends will say will all sincerity that they find this hard to believe as they always appear confident and in control. Yet that person will still insist that they lack confidence. Obviously the signals that they are externalising are not the same as those that they are internalising. Often the person who appears to be the most confident and out-going will have terrible doubts and internal conflicts. The external bravado will be their way of masking how they feel inside.
Balanced self-confidence begins by admitting and accepting more evidence of what you can do well. It also begins by accepting positive and complimentary comments made to you as well as other forms of evidence. In the past you may have dismissed a positive comment that was said to you because you didn't know how to handle it. You may even have made a joke of it or tried to dig up the tiniest fragment of evidence as to why you don't deserve such praise. Many people say something like this 'Oh, it was nothing'.
It would be virtually impossible to retain your self-confidence if you are someone who always dismisses or belittles their achievements. So make up your mind from today not to do it. Decide from this moment onwards to say just two words when someone says something nice or complimentary to. The two words are 'thank you'. Try it out next time and see how you feel about it. It will help you start to feel the confidence that has always been theyre waiting for you.
It is well worth discussing what self-confidence is, before describing how you can change your low self confidence into healthier and empowering confidence.
As human beings, we action many tasks automatically and without having to think too much about it. An example would be riding a bike. Even though we might have gone through a few years of not using a bike, if we needed to, we would not find any difficulty in getting back on a bicycle and riding again. This is because we have done it so many times before that we know just what to do and do not have to give it too much conscious thought. So if you were to ask someone, how confident are you that you can ride a bike, as long as they had learnt to ride a bike in the past, they would probably say 'very confident'. They feel confident about it because they have done it many many times successfully before. In fact they now give very little thought to actions required to ride a bike. It all happens automatically.
This can be called a type of self confidence. Knowing something so well, that as the saying goes, you could do it with your eyes closed or you know it like the back of your hand.
Now when someone says that they have low confidence, they can so easily make the mistake of encompassing their whole life with this label. They might even say 'I never have any confidence in myself'. By saying this out loud to others who will listen, or even thinking it to themselves, they will be setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy. The label you give yourself or the label you accept as being true will invariably mean that you start to fit yourself to that label, and, can make it your own living reality.
However, that person above will be able to successfully accomplish many things confidently but, and here is the big 'but' they will not use these successes as evidence of confidence. They will dismiss or belittle them in some way (e.g. saying "I was lucky") so that they can maintain this need to say they have no confidence. This is a pity as it is only through taking a realistic view of what happens in their world, will they then be able to feel more confident about themselves.
It can be quite startling how someone will say they have no confidence and yet 5 minutes later they will tell you about some amazing things that they do such as talking in front of 10,000 people, or they go mountain climbing. Despite undertaking these events, which ordinarily seem nerve-wracking events, they may still say that they have low confidence.
So confidence or the lack of it, has a lot to do with how you view yourself. If this is the case then really it is down to a perception. Perceptions are not a true reflection of reality all of the time. Often perceptions, even between just 2 people, can be remarkably different even though these 2 people have in reality, experienced exactly the same thing.
Perceptions are the filters we use to process what happens around us. Our perceptions can make us feel good, bad or indifferent. They can give us a boost of energy or deflate us into an anxious and fearful mass. Our perceptions have power.
Our perceptions are, more often than not, based on our past conscious and subconscious experiences. They are our way of analysing what happens around and enabling us to decide the implications for us. When experiencing anything, our minds will very quickly compare the current experience to past experiences and, these past experiences will indicate how we should react to this current experience. If we have had a bad experience that seems very similar to the current experience, we will feel in a similar way to the feeling we associated with that past bad experience.
So our perceptions are based on past experiences and what we have learned from them.
This gives us a clue about how we can change and become more confident. Our perceptions can be so inaccurate and if they were formed at a young age may also have lacked understanding. Most of us have had the experience of perceiving someone or some situation in a particular way, only to realise that we got it completely wrong. With this in mind, although our perceptions are a form or protection and are meant to enable us to weigh up a situation quickly, they can also be wholly inaccurate.
Healthy and robust self-confidence begins by accepting that your perception of yourself may be wrong in certain matters. For example, some friends will be astounded when someone announces (may be on a drunken evening), that they have low confidence. These friends will say will all sincerity that they find this hard to believe as they always appear confident and in control. Yet that person will still insist that they lack confidence. Obviously the signals that they are externalising are not the same as those that they are internalising. Often the person who appears to be the most confident and out-going will have terrible doubts and internal conflicts. The external bravado will be their way of masking how they feel inside.
Balanced self-confidence begins by admitting and accepting more evidence of what you can do well. It also begins by accepting positive and complimentary comments made to you as well as other forms of evidence. In the past you may have dismissed a positive comment that was said to you because you didn't know how to handle it. You may even have made a joke of it or tried to dig up the tiniest fragment of evidence as to why you don't deserve such praise. Many people say something like this 'Oh, it was nothing'.
It would be virtually impossible to retain your self-confidence if you are someone who always dismisses or belittles their achievements. So make up your mind from today not to do it. Decide from this moment onwards to say just two words when someone says something nice or complimentary to. The two words are 'thank you'. Try it out next time and see how you feel about it. It will help you start to feel the confidence that has always been theyre waiting for you.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Success Key - How ATTITUDE Plays a Huge Role
by: Phil Barnao
The first step in the road to success lies within the importance of our attitudes. Our Attitudes and thoughts dictate our future for better or worse. The wrong attitude is probably the cause of more failure then any other principle, philosophy or strategy.
So before you think about the secrets that will lead you down the road of prosperity, happiness and wealth, let me say this… You must first cover subject of attitude or face the fact that you will never have what you truly want. On that note; we all must make a choice to either go after the lifestyle we truly desire or remain were we are.
Attitude is a choice. It’s your choice. It is not based upon feelings it’s strictly a mental thing. Attitude is a mental position toward a particular fact, state or situation. Again that means that you have control over it. Sometimes you can’t change a situation, but you have control over how you react to it. We all do and there are no excuses with this.
The fact that you are happy, joyful and excited or sad, depressed and angry is a direct result of the attitude that YOU have chosen to take at that time. It’s not like you have to be in that mood. You really have just chosen to be.
It took me a long time to figure this out for myself that this is the way it really works. But know I can honestly say that it is 100% true. Every time I am in the state of having a bad attitude it’s because I choose to dwell on something that I should not have.
Now obviously there are some things that occur in life that will cause it to be more difficult to control but the key is not to stay there too long.
Here’s why…
"As a man (or person) thinketh in his heart so is he". Basically this means that our thoughts (or attitude) are what determine our future. You have the power to create or destroy your own future based upon your thoughts.
So have a great attitude and think big...
I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty score.
For life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.
I worked for a menial's hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have surely paid.
The bottom line is whether we believe we can or believe we can't, we're right. In order to receive we must first ask and then believe that it's possible. You must believe that you can have an abundance of money, have a great marriage, be the best parent or that you can actually create any lifestyle that you desire.
The truth is..."You are in control of your future the minute you choose to be and you can create absolutely anything you truly desire to and it all starts with attitude."
Attitude
by Chuck Swindoll
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.”
Do not allow what other people say or do to dictate your attitude. People will with out even realizing it try and bring you down. You have to fight against it. The statement that misery loves company is more often than not a true statement. It’s not always the person’s fault that they are disrupting you because they are not aware of it, but you need to be so that you can knowingly choose to remain in the right attitude.
A miserable person or even someone who just happens to be in a bad mood (we’re all guilty of this sometimes) will try to identify with you by bringing you into their negative mental state. They don’t purposely do it, it’s just a reflection of their inability to control their attitude at that time.
The Success Scoop is provided to You
by: Phil Barnao
…Author of the explosively powerful
free Success Scoop E-zine… www.successscoop.com
The first step in the road to success lies within the importance of our attitudes. Our Attitudes and thoughts dictate our future for better or worse. The wrong attitude is probably the cause of more failure then any other principle, philosophy or strategy.
So before you think about the secrets that will lead you down the road of prosperity, happiness and wealth, let me say this… You must first cover subject of attitude or face the fact that you will never have what you truly want. On that note; we all must make a choice to either go after the lifestyle we truly desire or remain were we are.
Attitude is a choice. It’s your choice. It is not based upon feelings it’s strictly a mental thing. Attitude is a mental position toward a particular fact, state or situation. Again that means that you have control over it. Sometimes you can’t change a situation, but you have control over how you react to it. We all do and there are no excuses with this.
The fact that you are happy, joyful and excited or sad, depressed and angry is a direct result of the attitude that YOU have chosen to take at that time. It’s not like you have to be in that mood. You really have just chosen to be.
It took me a long time to figure this out for myself that this is the way it really works. But know I can honestly say that it is 100% true. Every time I am in the state of having a bad attitude it’s because I choose to dwell on something that I should not have.
Now obviously there are some things that occur in life that will cause it to be more difficult to control but the key is not to stay there too long.
Here’s why…
"As a man (or person) thinketh in his heart so is he". Basically this means that our thoughts (or attitude) are what determine our future. You have the power to create or destroy your own future based upon your thoughts.
So have a great attitude and think big...
I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty score.
For life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.
I worked for a menial's hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have surely paid.
The bottom line is whether we believe we can or believe we can't, we're right. In order to receive we must first ask and then believe that it's possible. You must believe that you can have an abundance of money, have a great marriage, be the best parent or that you can actually create any lifestyle that you desire.
The truth is..."You are in control of your future the minute you choose to be and you can create absolutely anything you truly desire to and it all starts with attitude."
Attitude
by Chuck Swindoll
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.”
Do not allow what other people say or do to dictate your attitude. People will with out even realizing it try and bring you down. You have to fight against it. The statement that misery loves company is more often than not a true statement. It’s not always the person’s fault that they are disrupting you because they are not aware of it, but you need to be so that you can knowingly choose to remain in the right attitude.
A miserable person or even someone who just happens to be in a bad mood (we’re all guilty of this sometimes) will try to identify with you by bringing you into their negative mental state. They don’t purposely do it, it’s just a reflection of their inability to control their attitude at that time.
The Success Scoop is provided to You
by: Phil Barnao
…Author of the explosively powerful
free Success Scoop E-zine… www.successscoop.com
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