7 Sure Fire Ways to Sabotage Your Life

We all begin life traveling on the “road to happiness.” At some point during this journey we may come to realize we turned left when we meant to turn right; which sidetracks us and puts us on plan “D” instead of plan “A”. Life’s not exactly “unhappy” - it’s just not as fulfilling as we know it can be. We begin to feel as if life became” sabotaged” somewhere along the way. Now it’s time to regain control and get back on track. You just need to readjust the road map!

That said, you are at “choice point.” Maybe your choice is to continue what you’re doing. OK. Just don’t expect different results. Maybe your choice is to do something different to get different results. Once we set a direction in life, all our habits, behaviors, and choices either support or sabotage us in reaching that destination.

Let’s take a look at some choices that may be sabotaging your life and solutions that will support getting you back on track.


Sabotaging Choice #1 - Hit the floor running and don’t stop ‘til you drop. Fill your schedule to overflowing so that even taking a moment to catch your breath leaves you hyperventilating!
#1 Supporting Choice - Follow the airplane rule, “put your oxygen mask on first.” Before you wake each morning, give yourself a moment to be still with yourself. Consciously take a few deep breaths. Visualize your day flowing smoothly and easily as you continue to consciously breathe. On today’s calendar, block out 15 minutes and write your name in “pen.” Set your cell phone alarm. When the time arrives, use it to sit and do nothing but consciously breathe. Doing this ensures that you put on your oxygen mask first.

#2 – Sabotaging Choice - Hang out with toxic people who criticize, judge and carry around all their emotional baggage. For added effect and drama, make sure you unpack these people often.
#2 Supporting Choice - Find the “balcony people” of your life. The people who always have “the best seats in the house”- those who make sure to see things “from the top.” There is at least one person who sees the best in you. Make contact with them frequently. Let them cheer you on, inspire, motivate and support you. Begin to create your “team” of balcony people- your own cheering section! (Keep in mind these people are different from the “nosebleed section people.” – those who can’t see anything beyond the tips of their own noses and are committed to sabotaging anyone who attempts to get better seats than them.)

#3 Sabotaging Choice – Procrastinate! – Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow!? Let’s face it, if you let something go long enough, it may just disappear altogether and you’ll be “off the hook,” right?
#3 Supporting Choice - Procrastination is a symptom of a deeper issue and instead of being “let off the hook,” you’re often left “hanging” your head in guilt. Why would you need to feel guilty? You don’t, but you probably have a fear of succeeding and guilt guards you from this fear. (And those guards have some pretty hefty armor, don’t they!?) Instead of lugging around all that heavy guilt, break free, connect with your “balcony people” and let them cheer you on to victory each and every time you follow through! Count all these victories and as they add up, let them empower you to take the next step to success.

#4 Sabotaging Choice - Hold onto the “right” attitude and make sure you’re never wrong. It will keep you feeling like you’re in control.
#4 Supporting Choice - It takes so much energy to be right all the time. Plus you really miss out on other ideas that can enhance your life. Learn to apologize. Learn to forgive. Learn to receive. Learn how to listen. (I could be wrong, but my guess is that there will be many treasures waiting for you when you give yourself permission to not always be right!)

#5 Sabotaging Choice - Fill your life with clutter, stuff and mountains of paperwork. Keep all the drawers empty and the tabletops full!
#5 Supporting Choice - Clutter creates confusion. Confusion clogs your life’s energy flow, your ability to think clearly and to be creative. Clear your space. Begin small. Sometimes it helps to set an alarm for 15 minutes and begin. Take in small bites. As you clear the clutter, even a small corner, allow yourself to feel good. Exhale. Let that good feeling motivate you for another 15 minutes. You’ll be amazed at how quickly de-cluttering clears the mind.

#6 Sabotaging Choice - Ignore self-care. After all, your mind and body are only the mechanics that keep your life running. You put gas in your car and send it for six month tune-ups; why is extending the mileage on a heap of metal and glass more important than extending the mileage on your life’s journey?
#6 Supporting Choice - Taking care of the “self” is a number 1 priority. It is important to remember all areas of self: mind, body and spirit. To begin, make one change in one area. For the body: eat a piece of fruit every day, drink a glass of water, and say one nice thing about yourself when you look in the mirror. For the mind: have an intellectually stimulating conversation with someone; read a book; watch a group of children discovering the world at a playground during your lunch break. For the spirit: sit quietly every day, subscribe to a daily inspiration, and share your gratitude daily. You’ll be amazed at how much more mileage you get with just a little self care.

#7 Sabotaging Choice - Expect perfection or “black and white” solutions for everything. – If it’s perfect, there’s no room for option or choice, which means you don’t have to deal with it!
#7 Supporting Choice - There is no such thing as “perfect.” Perfect is a relative term. Striving to be perfect fits into the category of needing to be right. Redefine your standards. Consider the option of making gray the “new black” when it comes to savvy thinking!

In reality, each of us practice all 7 of these sabotaging behaviors, so you’re not alone. But you’re also not necessarily in the best of company, either. These alternate ways of thinking and problem solving solutions allow you to begin to make a shift in the way you live your life, make the right turn and get back on track. Choose one solution and begin to put it into practice. You can make a change to empower yourself; and you can ask for help in creating a new pattern. Be inspired this week to stop sabotaging your life and get back on the road to happiness.

About the author:
Sharon Marquart is a gifted Certified Personal Coach, inspirational speaker and author. For more than 13 years she has shared with audiences large and small. Her coaching practice is Living at Yes. Sharon is committed to using Metaphysical and Spiritual Truths and applying them to everyday life. http://www.Livingatyes.comor Sharon@Livingatyes.com

Happiness: The Quest

by: Lambert Klein

Happiness is something many of us strive for. Why is it so hard to achieve, especially at times when you need it the most? How do we change a gloomy mood into a lighter or happier one?

There are some things within our power that will help us accomplish these goals.

What are some benefits of happiness that could encourage you to work towards it even more?

• Health • Self Confidence • A sense of Purpose • More Productivity • Achieve Your Goals • Weight Loss

Funny thing is that the above list also works in reverse. If you are healthy, self confident and all the rest listed, than you will most likely be happier. Sometimes happiness is staring us right in the face.

Here are some ways that you can create happiness in your life.

Exercise: It appears that exercising comes up a lot when we are speaking about improving various things in our lives. It has been shown to improve mood by making us healthier and increasing endorphins.

Foods & Diet: Eating chocolate is probably more of a pleasure than sustained happiness, even though it can provide us with a short-lived boost.

A healthy diet though is vital for our health and happiness. Too much sugar and junk foods are provisional emotional boosters. In the long run these problem foods will degrade us physically as well as emotionally.

Eat a healthy diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, including raw veggies. Cut back on unhealthy foods and don't "Super Size" it.

Supplements: If you are not receiving all of your nutrients in your diet then you may want to supplement by taking vitamins.

There are some specific supplements that target your mood. You could discuss these with your health practitioner.

Music: Music can bring miracles to your mood. Go ahead and listen to something upbeat and happy.

Rewards: Happiness comes from rewards as well. They can be simple things. You find a great bargain on something you been wanting. Maybe someone offers you a simple item of interest. You do a task and are complimented on it by someone else or yourself. Even finding a coin on the sidewalk can give you a "Reward" feeling that can bring happiness to you.

The greatest reward can come from giving a compliment to someone or saying a kind word.

Gratitude: Be grateful for what you have. This simple statement can make a giant difference in your life! Everyday think of everything you have. The enormous things, and the little things. Are you living in a cardboard box? No. Then be very grateful. Yes? Be grateful for the cardboard box.

Have gratitude for friends and family, the home you live in, the food you eat. Isn't it great having air to breath, freedom to go where you want. Don't take these for granted but have gratitude and give thanks.

Love: Well Love can clearly bring happiness. Love for your spouse, friends, neighbors and strangers. Give Love and you will receive Love. Learn to Love Yourself. Let's all remember that when we interact with others.

Enjoyment: Do what you enjoy. This could be a hobby or going for a walk in the park. If you do things that you like it's bound to bring happiness.

Forgiveness: Try a bit harder to say kind words to others. Place yourself in the other's person place for a moment. Sure there are some people that act so mean and hateful. Remember you only hurt yourself when you return meanness or hold resentment and anger inside.

Help Others: Find ways to make others happy. You may be surprised that by willingly helping others to find joy can have a positive impact on you as well. Help others to find meaning in life. Keep them company.

Build Self Confidence: Do your work the best you can. Learn new skills. Find meaning in your career and life. Enjoy a new hobby or game. You can boost your self-confidence by learning new and enjoyable things. Raise your self-confidence and you raise your happiness.

Happiness can make you smarter! Is it really surprising that positive attracts positive? If you do these things you will increase your happiness.

What is the most important thing to you? Is it money, a fancy car or a mansion, maybe your health? What about happiness?

Well let's think a moment….

If you have happiness, all the happiness you want or need, would that be the most important thing to you?

What good is money or the rest without happiness? If you are truly happy you won't need to worry about the rest. If you require money to be happy then you will have it. Maybe the saying, "Money Can't Buy Happiness", should be "Happiness Can Produce Money".

Try to release all anger and negative emotions. You can accomplish this easier once you realize you are only hurting yourself and other loved ones around you. Sure it will take regular practice. You may struggle with this, but it can become second nature after awhile.

It's up to you. Do you want to be negative and unhappy or positive and learn to be happier? You can start now by adding positive attributes to your life. Be good, smile and put on a happy face!

Where's your path leading?

Have you ever stopped to think about where your life's path is leading?

Is it leading you on a journey of ever increasing aliveness and self expression or is taking you to a place of conformity, mediocrity and discomfort?

My Reality Check

A year and a half ago I had to accept the reality that my life's path wasn't heading in the direction that I wanted it to.

On the outside, I had no doubt that I projected an image of success. I had pushed my way up the corporate ladder at quite a rapid rate given my age. I was obscenely well paid, wore tailor made suits and holidayed in exotic locations.

But on the inside, I felt anything but successful. Each day that I dragged myself into office felt as if I was selling another piece of my soul.

For 60-70 hours per week, I performed work that I found deeply dissatisfying in environments that I was completely unsuited to. Now believe me when I say that this wasn't some kind of passing phase either. In my 8-9 working years since graduating from business school, I had managed to secure consulting contracts with some of the most prestigious corporations in the world. Funnily enough, I had similar work experiences in almost all of them.

To add insult to injury, there always seemed to be at least one person in authority that I would mysteriously come into conflict with in each workplace. They appeared to go out of their way to make my working life extremely awkward and uncomfortable.

Early on in my career, I used to fully engage in the drama of being victimised by these evil tyrants! But over time however, I came to the realisation that these people were actually not my enemies, but my teachers. By letting me know that I didn't fit into their model of the world (and I must admit they did have a solid argument!), they were unknowingly pushing me forward to follow my innermost passion for doing bigger things in the world.

So What Was Going Wrong?
Over the span of my corporate career I had plenty of time to think about what was going wrong. On many different levels it seemed as if I was following all the rules correctly. I got good grades, went to a very well respected university and had a CV that most aspiring corporate climbers would kill for. So why then wasn't I experiencing a deep sense of happiness and fulfilment portrayed in the photos of all the corporate recruitment brochures? Why did I feel so empty?

After years of considered thought, I discovered that the reason why I was so unhappy with my professional life was the fact that I was following society's preconditioned path of success and not my own. I was trying hard to fit into the corporate world by being someone else.
Deep down, the only person I really wanted to be, was me.

I Visualised My Life Not Changing.

The thing that really helped me to make the changes that I needed to make was to visualise how unbearable the rest of my life would be if I didn't find the courage to change. I visualised what it would be like to do the same uninspired job, in the same uninspired work place, with the same uninspired work colleagues, for the next 35 years of my life. It wasn't a pretty picture let me tell you!

The great thing about following this process was that it created a scenario in my mind that was so painful that it propelled me to do whatever it took to make the necessary changes.

So how do you know if you're on the wrong path?

As a society we are conditioned to look to external sources for guidance on what we should be doing with our lives. We are conditioned into mistrusting our own intuition. But when it really comes down to it, the best and most effective way to find out whether or not you are on the wrong path is to look deeply inside yourself.

Taking this kind of approach will take a lot of courage, particularly if you have spent any length of time masquerading as someone else as I had done. Not only that, the answers that you find may not be exactly what you want to hear either. But stick with it. It will be worth it.

Keep pushing yourself to greater and greater levels of self honesty. Let your actions be directed by your new level of self awareness. And most importantly, surround yourself with people that encourage, motivate and inspire you to be all you possibly can be.


About the author:
Damien Senn helps people create compelling futures. He is one of the UK's top Life and Business Coaches as well as a fully qualified Chartered Accountant.

Damien is the author of the 'Senn-Sational Success Journal' and has developed his own coaching model called the 'Senn-Sational Success System'.

For your free download '101 things to do before you die' please click the following link:

Finding Ways To Save Time And Accomplish More Toward Goals

by: Connie Limon

A definition of time management might be a process of gaining flexibility and cutting back time. The advantage to having a time management plan is that we are loosing something that brings us reward and gaining something that brings us bigger rewards. We end up with a “no loosing” situation if our time management plan is right.

To develop a successful time management plan we must first evaluate our time. We must sit down and ask ourselves how long does it take us to eat? How long does it take us to get dressed and groom for work? How long does it take us to prepare the meals we have to eat? Everything we do takes a certain amount of time. You might start out by writing down just how much time it takes to do each of your very have to tasks each day.

Then sit back and evaluate your list. Are you wasting 10 minutes here and there on those have to items that could be used for something else?

Where our time goes is an essential element to determine for our entire time management plan if we want to begin spending more quality with the most important people of our lives and less wasted time on some routine task. This is the absolute first step of creating your own personalized time management plan, a time management plan that will allow your more time to do the things in life that are most important to you. You must determine where you are wasting time and then decide how to use that time more effectively. Once that time is lost, there is no calling it back.

Another important element of creating a successful time management plan is to be sure and finish tasks before moving onto another task, unless you are at work, in a job that requires doing multiple tasks at one time (multi-tasking). Once you finish one task, move onto the next task and follow in pursuit of finishing all tasks. Once you finish the last task, sit back for a moment in a comfortable position and think of what you accomplished. How much time did it take you to complete task? Don’t forget to be keeping down your start time and end time. Of course this type of listing time of tasks works best for those things you do as routine each day. You want to work on completing the tasks in as little time as possible so you that you have to add in the unexpected tasks of the day or…….much better…….so that you have time to do something you really, really want to do, something that is not routinely required of you to do. For example, like visit on the phone with a favorite friend, your daughter or mother, or whoever, read some in the books you want to complete at some point or another in your lifetime.

A successful time management plan provides us with a source for more flexible schedules. When we have flexibility we have more time for ourselves. Once you have determined your priorities for time usage, then you can start adding tasks that you been putting off because you just don’t have the time to do them.

So….you now need another list of goals and plans of tasks and things you want to do but never have the time to do. One of the best ways of keeping these lists is on your computer where you can quickly erase and add to. But then again, paper in a notebook is also good, perhaps a special book.

Time management is the process of working to succeed. When we work to succeed we reach our goals. We first have to decide what those goals are, of course, and then work toward them using our time management plan. You will probably have to sit down and really ponder on what is needed to reach each goal of set of goals, and of course, decide how much time each step of the way you will need. Some people like to set short term goals, reach that goal and then set a long term goal. It might be a better plan to try and set short and long-term goals in the same time management plan. Whichever way works best for you, however, is what you should do.

Time management is essential since it demands that a person plan, act on those plans and stay focused on those goals with motivation. You must also keep reality in mind, and plan for the things out of your control that could go wrong and therefore steal time from your time management plan. Some examples would be computer failures, family illness, personal illness, inches and inches of snow and ice, horrible sudden tornados and hurricanes. It is always wise to include elements of your time management plan in accordance to what could happen out of your control. You may want to have a plan ahead of time of using your time in some other manner if your computer fails. Catch up on your paper filing or something. Right now for me, I am experiencing an internet outage. I have groomed many more Shih Tzu than the usual today in the time I usually spend answering e-mails and working on my websites.

Time management is working to succeed. If you want to succeed then you must work hard every day to meet your goals. I recently cut down my preparing and eating breakfast time by about ten minutes. Instead of my usual meal, I now mix up a Zone Shake and drink it while doing some other chore like adding to or emptying out the dishwasher, or even while opening up my daily e-mails. In reality here I am using ten extra minutes to work on my goals, rather than preparing and eating a regular breakfast.